This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race
by ARPfics
Summary: *spoilers* Artie knows that Puck doesn't really want to be his friend, but Artie thinks this might be his opportunity to finally be cool. Puck's a douche and Artie actually thinks that's a good idea.


I don't think anyone would call Puck and I friends by any stretch of the imagination, but I wasn't about to say no when he invited me to Indian Lake with Finn and the rest of the jocks. "But why?" I asked, looking up at the pair currently blocking my path to Math class.

"A celebration of sorts," Puck chuckled. "Because we suck so much that we didn't even place at Regionals."

Finn looked up the hall quickly; nobody dangerous was within hearing range. Finally, he muttered, "Kurt's coming too. It's kind of a guy bonding thing."

"Did Mr. Schue put you up to this?" I crossed my arms skeptically. Last time I checked, there was still two weeks left of school. Neither Puck or Finn had ever even looked at me outside of glee rehearsal.

"No," Puck quickly defended himself, but Finn shook his head.

"Yeah, he said it would probably be good for us, you know? Like we should become friends or something."

"Look, I don't need your charity. I have plenty of friends... Tina, John, Steve from jazz band ... Tina." I shook my head. It would be nice to have some friends in high places. Literally. "Anyway, I thought we were friends, especially with that whole Vocal Adrenaline thing. I offered to come with you, remember?" Only I knew I couldn't even reach the tires and I'd definitely be more in the way than anything. Maybe next year, I'd help steal Vocal Adrenaline's set list or something.

"Don't remind me," Puck rolled his eyes. "We're still paying Ms. Cochran back. Anyway, do you wanna come or not? I've got better things to do on Saturday than waste the day hanging out with a cripple and a gay guy."

"Hey," I narrowed my eyes up at him. "What makes you think I wanna hang out with a jerk like you? Finn's not so bad. You might wanna work on that whole peer pressure thing though."

"I know," he looked around uneasily, probably still looking out for Karofsky.

"But yeah," I said finally. "I'll come. Are we taking your truck, Puck?"

"Yeah. Shit, you gonna need help again, like after Regionals?"

When Quinn went into labor, the bus driver was off picking up pizza or something, so we'd all split up and taken different cars. Nobody really thought about it until I got left with Puck and Tina. Tina had been glad to help me out, but Puck had just stared awkwardly. I looked at him, he didn't seem too comfortable with the idea. I nodded a bit, "Yeah, but Finn can help or something."

Puck just shrugged. "Anyway, bring a swimming suit. If I have to go, I think we should all enjoy ourselves."

I nodded and Puck and Finn took off towards class in a hurry. They had good timing too because I turned around to slushie in the face from a couple of jerks on the hockey team. Thankfully Tina had free that period and helped me clean up.

I still wasn't quite sure what I was in for as Finn helped me into Puck's old Chevy that Saturday. Mike and Matt were already crammed in the back seat with Kurt and I somehow had to fit in next to them. Finn argued that he was too tall to sit in the back, but I wasn't so sure that was his only reason. Puck had to help eventually, but I finally managed to get situated next to Kurt. "Pump up the jams," I called as Puck and Finn slammed their doors closed a few moments later. I just hoped Finn had managed to tie down my wheelchair on the flat bed, otherwise I was gonna be really screwed.

Matt hollered uncharacteristically; I guess he was just really excited. He'd be graduating high school in less than two weeks and than he was was off to Ohio State. It'd be sad without him, but a whole new batch of freshman was coming in and I was sure we could get some to join glee club. "Pump it," he yelled, determined to enjoy himself.

Finn turned on the classic rock station and we all laughed when we heard a very familiar song playing. I started singing loudly, "Well, I went down to the reception, to get my fair share of abuse-"

Soon enough, the whole care was laughing, singing loudly. Puck rolled down the windows once we were on the highway and he sung, "You can't always get what you want-"

I laughed, my hair blowing into the wind. It felt so good to be away from my mom's watchful eyes, from Tina's careful concern and the whole town treating me like a freak. As we drove past peeling farm houses and motionless livestock, I wondered about this Indian Lake place. I'd heard about it of course; it was supposed to be one of the most popular vacation spots in Western Ohio. My mom took my twin sisters there on 'girls' only weekends' and they always came back tired but happy. I'd never been. Tina kept telling me about how her married friends Lily and Steve Jung always went there and relaxed together. I think she was hinting at something, but I don't have a car and I'm sure not going to marry her yet. Maybe when we get out of high school.

So I had no clue what this place was like or how accessible it was going to be. Beaches are usually notoriously hard to push yourself on. When Puck pulled into a small parking lot directly off the highway, there was nothing besides a small rocky beach and a lake. The land dropped off steeply to one side and created a rocky cove. On the other side was a small pier with nondescript buildings and about three boats docked. I was understandably disappointed. The look on Finn's face when he opened my door smashed my last hope. He muttered something that sounded vaguely like bad news. "What?" I demanded.

"Nothing," he smiled. "Here's your chair."

It looked alright on first glance, but I knew to give it a second look. I shook my head and looked up at Finn, who looked like a sad, lost puppy. How would I explain this to him? "There's a part missing. It's OK because I know we have another in my garage, but I think we'll have to head back. I can't exactly take the bus or anything."

Everyone looked a bit disappointed and Kurt glared up at Finn. I knew that Kurt and Finn were having a lot of problems with their parents lately and given that I was currently trying to get on the jock's good side, I didn't necessarily appreciate the sentiment. Kurt and I are friends on the best of days, but there's a lot about each other that we just don't relate to. Like fashion.

Puck muttered, looked away and suddenly looked directly at me, his eyes lit up with some strange inspiration. I didn't know if I should be nervous or what. He just smiled smugly. "Wait here," he said and ran off the road in the direction we had come.

I glanced at Finn and Matt, who both looked as confused as I felt. "I wonder where he went," Finn finally said.

I just shrugged. "No clue. I guess we have no choice but to stay here. He took the keys."

Kurt hopped out of the back seat, took a look at my chair and declared, "Doesn't look broken to me."

"It'll collapse if I sit in it," I shook my head sadly.

"Well, this sucks," Kurt said flatly. He finally looked up at the pier up ahead. "I'm going to check out the stores up there. Heard they have a great second hand shop here."

No one tried to stop him. Finn and I watched him go for a long moment and I finally shook my head and glanced at Mike and Matt. "So... how about those Cavaliers?" I honestly don't really care about sports and probably wouldn't even if I could play them, but isn't that what jocks talk about?

Matt shrugged, speechless as usual and Mike just glared at me. He was the kind of guy that you couldn't help but like. He was nice and smart and popular, even if he never said much. It just seemed like he would walk into the choir room and start dancing and people liked him. Personally, I never liked him much. I had caught Tina looking at him more than once... and he sometimes threw glances her way.

"Let's get to the point here," Mike finally spoke up. "We told Mr. Schue that we'd be friends by the end of the day. I'm not sure exactly sure how that's gonna happen, but I think we'd ought to try."

I crossed my arms, "if you haven't noticed, Kurt went shopping, Puck went missing and I can't freaking move."

"Not true," Puck came up, smiling and pushing a wheelchair. I'd never expected much from Puck, but he'd really outdone himself this time. It was the strangest chair I'd ever seen; decked out in rims, gold chains and leopard print. "Don't say I never did anything for you," he chuckled.

He had already helped me out with the bake sale back in November to get to Sectionals, but I have a feeling he might have been trying to prove something to Quinn. "Awesome. Where'd you get it?"

"Remember that trailer park we passed about five minutes down the road?" We all nodded. "I thought I saw a wheelchair sitting around and I ran back and I was right. I borrowed it from Big Mike. Don't worry, Artie, he has an electronic wheelchair that he's using instead."

I got ready to lecture him about how you never take wheelchairs from people and how I couldn't just use someone else's custom wheelchair, but the chair just looked so freaking awesome. I couldn't just say no. Maybe it would even make me look cool or something.

Finn helped me down into what I affectionately called the pimp chair and we started off towards the beach. I thought about Kurt for a moment, but it might take him hours before he was finished in the second hand store. He knew where to find us.

It was rough going over the rocky beach, but the pimp chair didn't have handles and I didn't know if I wanted any of the jocks pushing me anyway. Puck found a prime spot in the cove and set down his lawn chair and the huge cooler full of food and beer. He stripped off his shirt eagerly and ran straight into the water. "Feels great, you guys," he shouted with a laugh.

Finn shrugged and jumped into the lake after Puck. I hesitated. I wasn't even sure how I'd get in the water and if I should even really be swimming out on open water. "Hey," Mike shouted at me, throwing me an inner tube. I looked down at the tube and back up at Mike, who was smiling innocently at me. It was actually a really good idea. Part of me wanted to hate him; the part of me that got a really bad feeling about him, but he was just so darn considerate. I wheeled myself close to the edge of the lake and slipped out of the chair and onto the inner tube. I pushed myself into the water and let the currents do the rest of the work. I looked up at the clear blue sky and finally let myself relax. This whole time I'd been wondering what would happen next, how this would all work out, but we were here. I might as well have some fun.

I looked around suddenly and there was Puck horsing around in the water, splashing Finn and generally making trouble. He spotted me and waved me over, much to my surprise. I paddled in his direction, "Looking good," he smirked. I wasn't sure if he was referring to my Hawaii print swim trunks or my pathetic attempt at 'swimming' in the lake.

I just shrugged and splashed him playfully.

"Yeah I'll knock you off that inner tube and teach you to mess with Puckasaurus," he threatened, probably without thinking. And for once, the teasing felt good. People would stare at me and make jokes every day, but this was one of the rare times when someone was laughing with me, not at me.

I still didn't say anything, just taunted him by sticking out my tongue. He pushed away my inner tube and that was just fine with me. I floated around for a bit, thinking about why people loved this lake so much. It was pretty unremarkable as far as vacation spots go; still blue lake, green trees, bright blue sky above. We went to Disney World when I was ten, as kind of a 'let's pretend life doesn't suck so much' get away, and that was pretty nice. I couldn't go on any of the roller coasters though and what was Disney worth if I couldn't go on the Tower of Terror? I found out a few years ago that I could have gone on almost any ride, but my mom had been too worried. Anyway, I'd never liked vacations much after that, but this was different. It was so quiet here... not that Lima was known to be a huge city, but it was nice to be away from it all.

Finally, I paddled myself to the shore and transferred myself back into the pimp chair. Finn was still in the water with Mike and Matt, but Puck was lying in the sun, drinking a beer. I wheeled myself over to him, "What's up?" I offered.

He cracked open an eye and looked at me wearily. "Can't you see I'm trying to enjoy myself here?"

"I thought we were supposed to be talking. You know, like friends or something."

He just rolled his eyes and lowered the sunglasses that had been perched on his forehead. "You think I'm actually gonna be friends with you, Wheels? I mean, you're a nerd."

"Gee, thanks Puck," I shook my head and started heading away from him. The sheer cliff wall was ahead of me, but I didn't care. I didn't know why I had come and if I could have, I would have driven that pimp chair straight up the cliff and just enjoyed the scenery. But I couldn't.

"Hey," Puck shouted from behind me.

I sighed; I didn't really want to hear his apology or any sympathy he had to offer. I got enough of that at home. But I knew I couldn't stay in my corner forever. I turned around and glanced at him.

To my surprise, he was holding a football. "Catch?" He smiled, ready to throw the ball. I held out my hands, hoping I didn't look like a complete idiot. Puck's toss spiraled in the air for a long moment before landing squarely in my arms. "Hey, nice catch. Throw it back," Puck ordered.

I was out of practice. Dad and I used to play catch all the time, but that was years ago. I pulled my arm back the best I could remember and gave it a hard toss. It was actually pretty decent; Puck jogged forward a few steps and caught it. "Nice," I finally commented, smiling a little. "I didn't know you played ball," Puck said, tossing the ball back to me.

"There's a lot of things I can do, Puck," I defended myself automatically. I was so used to those two little words, 'you can't.' Sometimes I just felt like I had to prove to people I could.

But Puck just smirked at me, catching the ball as I threw it to him. "I know. You made that video for Rachel. I wish she would have let me play the bad guy... Anyway, you play guitar, right?"

"You've seen me play," I nearly rolled my eyes. He knew I played at New Direction's Invitationals. I wondered if he had some ulterior motive.

"I know, but I mean do you ever play for fun? I mean, outside glee club and your jazz band or whatever. Do you play rock music?"

What kind of a question was that anyway? Steve from jazz band came over almost every weekend to jam. We weren't very good, but that was mostly because we always tried different songs, whatever we were listening to. "Of course I do," I finally answered. "I mean, I don't know if we play the kind of music you like though."

I held the football in my hand, rubbing the rough leather between my palms. Puck growled; he had the bad habit of walking through the halls with his ipod turned up on full blast. If it were 1985, I'm sure he'd be roaming the halls with boombox, somehow always avoiding getting suspended. His ipod let anyone who might be curious know that he preferred classic Aerosmith and Led Zepplin over any new music out there. "That's OK," Puck said, surprising me. "I've been thinking about starting a band. Yeah, you could play guitar or something and maybe Finn will play drums. You know, you're really not so bad."

I dared myself not to grin at the compliment, tossing the football back at Puck. "My friend Steve plays the guitar too. Wouldn't we have too many people?"

"No, whatever it's fine. And I was thinking, you could get one of your AV Club buddies to tape us or something. It'd be great."

I just nodded, even though I knew that all Puck really wanted was to be a star one day. He would jam with me and my loser friends if it meant he'd get a demo tape out of the deal. The idea actually appealed to me; it could be fun to jam with Finn and Puck. How come I never thought of the idea? Oh yeah, maybe because they barely talk to me outside of glee club practice. Puck threw the football to me, but his aim was off. I leaned over, trying to catch it and fell out of the borrowed wheelchair. Puck rushed over to me, his hands suddenly all over me; something he would never do otherwise. "Dude, are you OK?" He asked a bit too loudly.

"Yeah, yeah," I swatted his hands away, attempting to sit up. "I'm fine. Go away, just go away." I heard my words echo as if from far away.

Puck just shrugged, righted the chair and walked away. Our exchange had been loud enough that the boys in the water stopped what they were doing long enough to stop and stare at me, resident freak. Puck shook his head widely and Finn and Matt turned and shrugged pretty much at the same time. They went back to their games like nothing had ever happened.

They don't care.

Is that a bad thing?

I decided not to linger on that thought, instead flopping my body over and working on getting myself back into the chair. I don't know if it was because it was a different chair or what, but it seemed harder for some reason... I'd definitely have to work on my abs this summer.

Kurt finally showed up not long after that, hauling a huge bag and his arms full of his finds at the second hand store. I had to laugh at Puck's exaggerated reaction, but the jock still helped Kurt get his stuff in the truck. Finn, Mike and Matt finally came out of the water and we all played touch football. It was me, Puck and Matt against Finn, Mike and Kurt and we were actually pretty well matched. I couldn't move around very well on the sand, so I mostly 'tackled' the other team and caught fourth down passes. The score ended up tied and Puck made a really good pass to me while I was in the end zone and to hell, we actually won.

Puck sure knew how to celebrate. He pulled a twelve pack of beer out of the cooler and popped one open. He offered me one, but I just shook my head. I'm a real light-weight and I didn't want any of the guys to see me drunk and possibly ramming into things. Puck took out a whole bunch of food from the cooler and laid it out buffet style. I was curious because there were frozen burgers and chicken breasts, but Puck seemed to have everything figured out. He took out a miniature grill and set it up with charcoal and stuff. "We had this really freaking huge bonfire last time we were here, but we got a ticket," he explained.

"Yeah, still trying to explain that one to my mom," Finn rolled his eyes.

Puck was careless with the fire; spraying the charcoal liberally with lighter fluid and throwing a match into the pit. I backed off quickly from the resulting burst of fire and the darn uneven rocks nearly sent me sprawling backwards again. Luckily, Finn had been standing right behind me and he sort of caught my chair and wordlessly righted me. Thank god for Finn; he was such an idiot, but his non-reaction was perfect. He just shrugged and stared at Puck, who was still playing with that fire, stirring it and sending sparks everywhere. I pulled myself together and frowned at Puck. I didn't know if he was intentionally acting like an idiot, but he didn't seem to care one way or the other.

Soon enough, he let the fire die down and put the meat on the fire. He jabbed some marshmallows with sticks and passed them around. I was gonna make a comment about eating dessert before dinner, but who cared, really? The smores were delicious; I hadn't tasted anything so good in a long time. I smiled contently as the meat finished cooking and Puck passed buns and condiments around too. I have the distinct advantage of having a built in table on my lap, but everyone else had to sit on the ground and eat with their plates on the sand. Gross. Puck ate more hot dogs than I'd ever thought possible and I downed quite a few myself. My metabolism is a real bitch; I'm always hungry. While the rest of us finished eating, Puck quickly finished and grabbed his guitar. He played a few mellow chords and started singing a popular song. I finished my hot dog quickly. I barely knew the words, but I couldn't help rapping along, making up my own rhymes when I didn't know the real words.

I almost felt like a real star, in that fancy wheelchair, singing a famous song. Puck laughed lightly at me and just kept singing. The rest of the guys joined in on the next chorus; we had a lot of practice harmonizing together and we sounded really good. I just kept singing. This might just be the best day I'd had in a long time.

The next day I was miserable. It seemed that Puck had completely forgotten about our trip and went right back to ignoring my presence. It was even worse than usual because a bunch of his buddies cornered me and tossed me in the dumpster. Lately Puck would at least try to dissuade them but no. Not today. That afternoon, I was playing Pokemon on my DS; Tina sitting on the edge of my bed when she suddenly said, "ew."

"What?" I looked down and saw she'd removed my shoes for me. "I told you not to do that." Because honestly, feet are kinda gross.

"No, look." She pointed to my offending ankle.

I pulled my leg closer and inspected it. I don't know how I didn't notice it when I was wearing swimming trunks or when I put my socks on in the morning but now my ankle was swollen an angry red. "I'll be fine. Probably just got cut or something." It probably happened when I fell out of the pimp chair, but I wasn't about to tell Tina that.

"It kinda looks like it might be infected." She looked at me with her soft caring eyes. Most days I thought myself lucky that she would even look at me. Most days I couldn't wait to have her near me, always anxious for more. But today I didn't want any of that.

I felt like Tina was staring at me. "What?" I finally asked.

"I think you should go to the doctor."

I narrowed my eyes, sitting up and tossing my DS aside. Something in me finally snapped. "What the hell? Where do you come off telling me what to do?"

"Artie, I care about you. I don't want you get sick."

"I'm just sick of everyone treating me differently than everyone else. Would you say stuff like that if I was Puck?"

"I would never go out with Puck. Never."

"Well, let's say you did... Let's say it was the end of the world and you were the only two people left in the world. Would you not want him to get sick?"

"Well, I guess not. I wouldn't want him to die or anything."

"Jeez you're morbid," I rolled my eyes at her. "Anyway, I'll be fine. I'm a guy. You know, tough." I flexed my arm muscles at her completely, but she just laughed. I couldn't help compare my weak arms to Puck's guns. I would never hold a candle to any of the jocks. I narrowed my eyes, my smile quickly fading to a frown. I would give anything to be like them so I tried to think of something Puck would say. "Now get out of here."

Tina looked at me like I might be possessed, but I just glared at her. She shrugged and quietly left.  
Why did it feel so bad to get exactly what I'd wanted for once?

And the worst part was that it turned out that Tina was right. I spent the rest of night trying not to stare at my ankle and I realized it was getting worse. Finally, I knew I had to show it to my mom, who immediately freaked out and drove me straight to the doctor. It didn't matter that it was 10 o'clock at night and any normal doctor's office would be closed. My mom is really convincing and she got the doctor to see me at his house. He took one look at my ankle and shook his head. "It's infected. You'd probably be in the hospital if you could feel that." He gave me a prescription (and actually warned me not to take all the antibiotics at once) and told me to take it easy and stay off my feet for a while. He laughed, but I didn't find it funny.

My mom didn't either, but she agreed with the doctor. "Take care of yourself, Artie. I don't want you to get sick," she echoed Tina. I wondered if Puck's mom ever said that to him. I wondered if Puck could even get sick. Probably not.

I sat up in my room late that night, idly poking my ankle. I almost wished I could feel the infection. It didn't feel like there was anything wrong really, and I didn't want to take medicine. I looked at the pack of pills wearily. They would never make me better anyway.

"Artie!" a strange voice called. "Artie, what the hell, man? Get up!"

I rolled over quickly and snapped open my eyes. Puck was standing over my bed looking pissed. I pulled on my glasses. "Why are you in my bedroom? What time is it?"

He glanced at the clock. "10:37, but it doesn't matter. Why aren't you in school?"

"I should ask you that." I rolled my eyes and pulled myself up so I was sitting. My room was freezing and for some reason I felt weak all over but I tried not to show Puck. I wasn't about to tell him I was infected. "My mom didn't wake me up I guess. Oh shit, we have that Glee assignment today, right?"

"First of all I'm not even ask about your mom. And yeah we have that glee assignment," he pinched up his nose to mock me. "Hell if Rachel is gonna show me up again."

I'd realized Puck did that a lot. He was always talking about the girls he'd dated like he was better than them. I tried not to do that, but I'm not perfect. I know Tina really likes me for whatever reason and maybe I just hold her to a higher standard. Part of me wants her to be better and do more than I could ever do. And part of me resents her because I know she will. "Puck..." I finally started. "Maybe you should start caring about school as much as you care about Glee. You might get kicked out you know."

"I'm not gonna get kicked out," he shrugged. "Anyway that's why I came over! I want to get started with the tape... I mean the band."

I smiled to myself; I don't know if I'd ever seen puck so excited. "Now?" I looked around, still kind of waking up. I realized I was wearing my Buzz Lightyear pajamas. How embarrassing.

"Why not? I don't have all day you know. I gotta get to gym class." Puck crossed his arms across his chest, like he wasn't going anywhere. "Just get dressed will you?"

"Give me half an hour."

"Half an hour?" Puck blanched. "It seriously takes you half an hour to put a damn shirt on?"

"Puck," now I was impatient. How could I explain to him that going to the bathroom, getting dressed or doing anything really took me forever? "Just go to the kitchen. You can eat whatever you want. Just don't take a beer because my mom will freak out."

His face brightened momentarily before he let out a laugh. "Don't worry I won't take a damn beer. I don't drink before noon... unless it's the hard stuff."

I couldn't even tell if he was serious or not. "Get the hell out of here," I finally said. I had to pee.

Puck just shrugged, grabbed the half full bag of Doritos off my dresser and set off towards the kitchen.

"Hey," I called after him. "You jerk. You can't just take my food and think you'll get away with it!" I heard his laughter and finally pulled myself up in bed. I might the quick transfer to my wheelchair grabbed some clothes from the dresser and made my way to the bathroom down the hall. My arms ached from the effort and a thin film of sweat formed on my brow. The last time I could remember being this exhausted was when I was about nine years old and still learning how to get around. My reflection in the mirror on the back of the bathroom door looked red and bloated and all the sudden I felt like I was burning up. Snap out of it Artie. None of the jocks ever felt like this. I shook my head determinedly; I could be tough. My mind made up, I popped a pill from the still-full pack of antibiotics without water. I didn't want Puck thinking I was sick or something. I got ready for the day as fast as I could.

Of course Puck just laughed at me as wheeled into the kitchen 20 minutes later. "Artie you could have told me you your mom was such a good cook. I might have become friends with you a long time ago." Friends? My mind whirled around the word. Sure, just last week he'd threatened to throw my wheelchair off the roof (I'd convinced him not to, based on the fact that he'd have to buy me a new one for almost 3 grand), but now he seemed to consider me his friend.

"You never asked," I said too quickly, the words coming out all at once. I was still processing on the possibilities of being friends with someone like Noah Puckerman. Did this mean I'd be granted slushie immunity? What would I have to do in return? It didn't seem to matter right now. Puck had shown up at my house on a weekday out of his own free will. That must count for something.

Sticking his hand into the freezer for a fudge pop, Puck just shook his head, still laughing at me. "You have any equipment here? I brought my guitar of course."

"What?" It took me a minute to figure out what he was saying. My brain just wasn't working as well as it normally did. Finally I said, "Oh yeah. Of course. My stuff is in the basement. You know the tape deck and stuff."

"The basement?" Puck gave me and my wheelchair a look, like he didn't know how to phrase his real question.

"Yeah," I smiled, I got this question all the time. "My house is sort of built on a hill so in the back you can just walk or, in my case, wheel right in. My dad's had his stuff down there since before I was born and I just got really lucky about the layout I guess."

"Your dad plays?" Puck was going at that fudge pop full force, eying me as I puttered around making toast.

I nodded. "Saxophone... but not much really anymore. Thought you knew that?"

"How the hell would I know what your dad does." Puck's eyes narrowed and he threw the popsicle into the garbage forcefully. He must have been quiet for a full minute before carefully adding, "Just cause my dad's the rock star or whatever. Are you almost ready?"

I looked at the frozen slice of wonder bread in my hand and the congealed jelly on the counter. Suddenly my stomach shook and I wasn't hungry anymore. "Yeah. You can go downstairs. I'll be around in a minute." I pointed out the basement door to him and threw out my breakfast.

I don't think I've ever taken the ramp around my house as quickly. I was sure I'd wake up soon enough from this amazing dream.

"I don't know why you're going out with that Tina girl," Puck remarked as soon as I closed the outside door behind me. He sat plucking a string on his guitar absently, trying to tune it.

I tried to ignore him, picking up my own guitar. "I like her," I finally said, but my voice came out sounding like a question even though I really meant it. At least I was pretty sure I did... she was pretty and smart and creative and hell, she liked me for whatever crazy reason. Shouldn't that be enough?

"You know I tried to go out with her once?" Puck asked, completely ignoring me. I just stared up at him. "Yeah it was back right before Sectionals. This was before the whole truth about Quinn came out and I had to deal with that shit. Anyway I was single and the Puckster never likes to be without a girl on his side. I started looking around glee club, you know, try something different. I realized she's pretty fine, you know for an Asian chick." I rolled my eyes at Puck. He always seemed to know how to be offensive. "Anyway I got to talking to her and she was pretty upset because apparently a certain boy thought he could just ditch her during their first date."

"She'd lied to me!" I interrupted. "It wasn't cool."

Puck just stared at his arms completely ignoring me. "I thought she'd be an easy catch, you know, sad and depressed or whatever. I was totally wrong; she's tough man. I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't giving you any."

It took me a moment to even realize my mouth had dropped open. People don't usually see me as being able to... as Puck so gently put it... get any. "Well..." I looked into my lap self-consciously. "Are we gonna play or what?"

"Thought so," he snorted. "You're young, man; don't waste your time. I can get you a girl no problem."

I pictured Puck parading through school, a different girl on his arm every week, sometimes even two or three at a time. Somehow I had no problem believing he could work his magic for me. "I have a girlfriend," I said quickly, almost without really thinking about it.

But I could almost imagine myself rolling down the halls of McKinley, a Cheerio on each arm.

"Whatever, man. Now are we gonna play or what?"

"Yeah," I shook my head, wondering if I was delirious or something.

Puck picked a mellow pop song that I actually knew and we worked on it for about half an hour. I was just about to start the tape deck when a car honked loudly from outside. Puck glanced up at the clock and swore loudly. "That better not be Santana." He jumped up and glanced around wildly for the door. He was gone before I could even say goodbye, forgetting his guitar and his backpack. I sighed, figuring I'd be stuck trying to figure out how to get them back to him.

The afternoon dragged on. I sat on the couch watching TV, trying to catch myself from falling asleep. A sudden, loud knock on the door actually made me jump a little. "Come in," I shouted. I really had no desire to get up and transfer just so I could get the door.

"Artie?" Tina asked from the other room.

"Yeah I'm in here," I said.

""Hey how are you?" She asked tentatively as she entered the living room. "I brought your homework." She smiled softly, holding up a stack of papers and my heavy math book.

"You didn't have to do that," I smiled up at her. I leaned over to give her a hug and a soft kiss.

"I don't mind," she muttered. "Mr. Schue said you and Puck can go tomorrow or whenever."

"Oh hey, speaking of that, you know he came over today?"

"To personally torment you?"

"No. To hang out and play guitar. He actually said I'm pretty good."

"You know he just wants to use you. Probably get you to record a demo for him or something." Was it that obvious?

"I know," I said, but hearing it out loud made the whole thing real somehow.

"Anyway, I wanted to talk to you." She sat on the end of the couch, almost as far away from me as possible. This was probably a bad sign. "I got a job for the summer."

"That's great!"

She didn't look very excited. "Yeah, it's at the Asian community center. With Mike Chang."

For a brief moment, the image of the two of them making out filled my mind, his hard body all over her. Asian babies would surround them and she wouldn't even try to stop him. I shook my head and shrugged, "well, have fun, I guess."

She studied me, her arms clamped in her armpits. She seemed to read my mind. "Artie, I don't even like him. He's not even my friend. Don't think of him that way."

But he was one thing I'd never be: a jock. "Just don't... don't do anything with him, OK? Don't even talk to him." Tina narrowed her eyes, but my word vomit seemed to be coming at full speed now. "You know Puck said he could hook me up with any girl in the school."

Tina stood up, looking like I'd punched her in the guts or something. "Yeah, Puck will get you a kiss with Brittany or whoever you want, if it helps him get what he wants. That's not what you want, is it? You shouldn't listen to him."

"Puck's the coolest person in our grade," I quickly defended him. Part of me did want that kiss from Brittany, but Tina was probably right. Finally I muttered, "He's my friend."

"He's not your friend, Artie. Just like Mike's not my friend. Just don't do anything stupid and I'll make sure nothing happens between us, OK?"

"You know I'd never cheat on you, right?" Not like it mattered, since neither one of us was getting asked out by anybody anyway... except if Mike made a move on Tina. He better not. Suddenly I remembered, Tina had turned Puck down and despite everything, she still took me back. If Tina wouldn't date someone like Puck, I wasn't about to be someone like Puck. I would never cheat, as tempting Puck's offer might be.

"I know. Just promise, OK?"

I wasn't stupid. "OK, I promise." You better not screw this one up, Abrams.

(and I didn't cheat or anything, but somehow I managed to screw it all up big time.)


End file.
